I was born in 1986 in South Sudan, Africa. When I was four years old in North Sudan my parents were separated, and I wondered why my mum was far away from my dad. We went to find my dad, my Uncle took us to South Sudan and we found him, I didn't know that my dad had got another wife and I even had a step sister. We moved in with them and I saw that my dad was an alcoholic, and my mum drank too, but not every day like my dad,
It was really sad seeing my mother and my step mother fighting each other every day, while my dad just sat down drinking, watching them fight,
I couldn't tell which one my dad loved the most, my mother or my step mother,
It turned out- my dad wasn't the dad I thought I had in my mind and my heart.
After a while my step sister passed away, and my step mother left after watching her child die, I was really angry with my dad, my dad didn't care about anybody else-only himself.
It’s no wonder my brothers and sisters grew up the way they did, because of the way my dad behaved. I remember when my mum used to tell my dad ‘why don’t you tell the kids how much you love them?’ but my dad said that his mum and dad had died and he had been left to look after his sister and brother as a teenager, and nobody had helped him. My dad left, we couldn’t get along with each other. I was living with my mum, and she was working. I stole money from my house. My dad found out and came back and beat me until I was unconscious. I ended up on the streets for a while, and started hanging with my cousins, I had my first try at sniffing glue. I was 5 or 6, about a year later my Uncle sent my brother from North Sudan to find me.
My uncle was different from my dad, he always told me that God loves me more than anyone in this world could love me, he found me and in 1993 I moved to North Sudan with my uncle because there was a civil war between tribes, and they were turning kids into soldiers.
In 1999 my mum came back to North Sudan to see me and I was so happy. It didn’t seem to matter that we had been apart, that we hadn’t seen each other in so long. We loved each other and cared about each other. Deep down in my heart I didn't want to live with my dad because my dad loved drink more than he loved us. Well, God has changed my life around now and one day I will go back to Sudan and me and my family will get to know each other well in Jesus name!
In North Sudan everything was good until a war rose up between South and North, so in 2000 I moved to Egypt with my uncles wife because it was a safer country to live in. In Egypt I went to a school called African Hope, but they only taught English and it wasn't enough for kids like me.
In 2003 my uncle brought me to Australia. It seemed like life was good again, here, you go to school, or work I mean, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. But I dropped out in year 11. I thought I should look for work and then buy a car and go back to school Or do an apprenticeship at Tafe Which I did- I got a job and I bought myself a car, and I went back to school But it wasn't for long, I left work and school.
I started walking around with friends, smoking and drinking So I thought to myself- “Why can't I do it, Everybody does it,” even though I knew deep down in my heart it was killing me. But I still did it, because I wanted to please my friends and fill up my heart It worked, every one became my friend, We started doing bad things on the street, I learnt how to steal, And every one of them was proud of me, But I wasn't proud of myself, and there was a voice in my head Telling me to go back to the way I was, But I lied to myself every year, saying “I’m going to change one day”
Instead, my life got worse every year, and I started hating everybody, even my own family and God too, because I didn’t think he was there for me. Everyone became my enemy, every single night when I was drunk I prayed to God to take me away from Melbourne so I could stop drinking and smoking for real.
I fell in love with a girl, but it couldn’t work out because of all the drinking and smoking, she didn't want me to drink in front of her kids, she was a good girl, all she ever wanted was someone to be real with her and love her and her kids, but I wasn't that person.I didn't know how to love her or her kids because I didn't know how to love myself, and so I left. My life became miserable, drinking more every day, it helped me forget the war and how I didn’t fit in here.
I woke up drunk & got to sleep drunk, I stopped going to work, so drinking became my job every day.
I couldn't take life like that anymore, so I moved to South Australia I blamed God for bringing me to Australia and for everything else that happened in my life, the same way I blamed my parents for bringing me into this world.
One day in South Australia I went for a drive and I had a serious car accident, and something amazing happened, I was not hurt even though I have always wanted to die, but that day I knew God loves me, because I was safe. I told myself that I needed help
One of my friends Jono, had always supported me and even though we were far apart I remembered him and he remembered me. I spoke to Jono on the phone
And he told me about rehab, and I went to Queensland, a place called ‘Fishers Of Men,”, and I began to get my life together again. They told me about how Jesus loves me and he died on the cross and rose again, so my sins could be forgiven, they did not have to be part of me anymore.
I reopened myself and I asked Jesus to forgive me for everything I had done, and give me another chance to live again in his way not my way. I thank the Lord Jesus for loving me and for dying for me,
And I thank Bobby and his wife Branwen for welcoming me to their house as a brother. I also thank Jono for helping me and showing me the right paths to Jesus Christ,
Today Jesus is still working in my life and those doors that were once closed now are open for me.
Thanks to God, I’m doing a diploma of business right now, but next year I’m thinking of learning more about the Bible because it changed my life, and maybe it can change other people’s lives too.
If God can change an alcoholic like me into a better person living life according to his way, he can change you too,
All you have to do is to open yourself to him, and walk not in your own understanding. Well I think I will give you what they say to me and to you in the Bible:
John 3:16-18 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life”, In other words it means he loves us, that's why He sent His only son, so that we can have eternal life with Him
“for God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved. He who believes in him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten son of God.”
I thank The Lord Jesus for what he did in my life and what he is still doing in my life, without him my life is nothing.
Thank you Jesus for finding me, and saving me, I didn't find Jesus but He found me, and saved my life and he wants to save yours too, my friends, don't hold back, oh man, life with Jesus, its real life.
Faith vs. Fear
“Fear is a thick cloud,
hiding God's hold truth,
faith is knowing full well,
when you can't see the proof,
fear holds you back,
so you'll give up the dream,
faith pushes you forward,
beyond your mortal means,
fear puts you in a box,
keeping you from living life,
faith breaks through the walls,
and cuts like a knife,
fear is a dark shadow,
trying hard to block the light,
leading many to anger,
hatred, suffering and strife,
but faith is a beacon of hope,
love and everlasting life,
so lets walk by our faith and not by our sight!”